There is trepidation when He asks for everything – the very human part of a heart wrestles deeply with the question of will God come through?
But He asked and we opened our hands and said it was all His.
But there was still a list of things needed and by giving it all up our options became very limited, but when it’s all gone, what really can you do?
I think maybe Jesus waits to the last minute, not to be cruel, but to strengthen a trust barely beating out a pulse weak and quiet.
Today was marked on the calendar as the day that so much needed to be done and so yesterday morning, after the start of my day, I sat down and listed each need in pencil.
And at the top it said,
Jesus, You know…
And Tony and I both have lost our fathers – both in different and distinct ways and the anchor of family that seems as though it should always. be. there. isn’t for us and in our floundering for a footing, we have overwhelmingly found Him.
I tried to approach Him as my Father and trust that He saw what was needed.
And I rarely answer my phone, there is no point – it’s not like I can hear the caller anyways with all the noise and life that surrounds me for most of the day, but yesterday as I was preparing dinner, as the kids were chasing each other in circles, my phone rang and when I hesitated, I felt it deep in my soul,
Yesterday – I adored Jesus as the One Whose Mercy is everywhere and He was laced all throughout that phone call as small chitchat turned into the answer to the largest of our needs.
Taken care of,
And in the losing of our anchor of family,
in the gaining of God as Father and Provider,
He has opened up our eyes to the beauty of His family – the brothers and sisters that reflect His love and grace in the most unexpected ways.
He invites me into His family and in the most merciful and tender way, He calls me daughter.
You are the God Who invites me into Your family and it is in this space that You are healing the broken in me and whispering life back in. Thank You for the way that You prove faithful ~ even in the moments where prayers are not answered, even when the need remains. But thank You for using a sister and a brother to show Your tenderness to my heart that was trying so hard to trust.