When the Risk is High

I forget sometimes, that God moves – even when I’m not looking.

That moments that seem ordinary and unassuming are really spinning and moving in a synchronized dance that begins to pull everything together.
And suddenly all the words I am reading and the conversations I am having over coffee and the places I go are all quietly falling into a place where He is and I am and everything begins to make sense.
There is a small group of us girls who read the same Words as me every morning – nothing fancy, we just write down the word done and add some more if we want; but more than anything, it has become a space for me to be encouraged in my faith.
This session has included a book study, a small unassuming book called Anything.
And it has been while reading this book that everything has begun to fall together.
The question I get asked the most when people around me find out about my husband’s ministry and our family’s heavy involvement – knowing what they do about the area and the obvious risk involved – is why?

Why would we risk it?  Why would we even want to?

And the answer goes back to who I have been – a woman who has desired roots and safety and quiet and comfort…
A woman who has wanted to be filled and fed and ministered to.
I had forgotten that this life I have is so small in light of eternity.
I had forgotten that this life is my offering to The One Who gave me these moments in the first place.
And I was selfishly using them on myself.
I hadn’t taken Him seriously when He looked at His twelve and said, Go.

Something had felt off for a while, unsettled and more than a little restless. I kept craving more, but I didn’t know what it was that I was wanting.
And around the time that Tony took over as the director of Madison House, I began to pray for a clear answer or an idea or anything to somehow quiet what seemed to be becoming so loud.
And Jesus has answered by placing in my heart a hunger for Him that nothing has seemed to satisfy. A hunger to know Him and know His Word and to turn around try and live it out. 
I get asked why? and I want to ask, why not?
If Jesus said to go, then why wouldn’t I? Why wouldn’t I expand my children’s circle and give them more people to love and to be loved by?
If I have been forgiven so much, if even in my failures and mess-ups God has still blessed us with this opportunity to go and obey Him, why would I stay home?
Maybe because I turn 34 today and I don’t know how many years I have left and I see so plainly how many years I have wasted.
Maybe because I can’t explain it other than this burning desire to pour out my life to Him because I can’t think of any other way to say, thank You.

Maybe it’s just as simple as love.
When you open your hands and say yes, there is a change of focus. What has seemed so crazy is turned upside down and serving Him sets it right – as though crazy is actually the distorted reflection of a firm decision to go.

10 thoughts on “When the Risk is High

  1. The Tea Bag says:

    Welcome here! And thank you for welcoming us to this new chapter.

    Crazily enough, the first thing I noticed was that you are now using capital letters for more than just the names of God. That alone THRILLS me in ways that I can't really share in a comments box! And I am so glad that you are opening your hands and your heart and go-ing in whatever direction God may direct you.

    I love you, my Kimberley, and I want to wish you a very happy birthday! Many, many more …


  2. Courtney says:

    What an incredibly beautiful way to celebrate your birthday this year, Friend. With a new beginning. One steeped in God and radiating Hope. I am thankful that your “goodbye” is only a farewell to what's come before and not an entire parting of ways. I cherish your words and would dearly miss them if you decided to stop writing all together. And, oh, I'm just so proud of you and honored to call you Friend. You make me want to be brave, too. No matter the calling or the cost. Thank you for friendship and wisdom and hope shared across the miles. Grateful for you. Thrilled to see what God is doing in your heart and in your family. And simply beside myself with excitement over what's to come. It's going to be amazing. Much love to you, Dear Kimberley!!


  3. kimberley says:

    I'm kind of excited to see what God is going to do too – He's definitely taking us on a crazy ride and taking any reins of control out of my hands. Thank you for walking this journey with me. Love you dear friend.


  4. kimberley says:

    Thank you for continuing to read – you could have given up long ago. 🙂 And thank you for the sweetest parcel containing the sweetest sleepers for a little girl who too quickly outgrew them. Your kindness has meant so much.


  5. Marissa says:

    Dear friend, I love this glimpse into your life even from a distance. Your beauty and courage shines bright for me and encourages my own to take small steps as well.


  6. kimberley says:

    My dear Marissa – it's a shaky courage. 🙂 Thank you for *your* encouragement and glimpses of your own courageous steps. I am so incredibly grateful to Jesus for letting us be neighbours for those short months – you have blessed my heart deeply.


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